realityisoverrated:

gracefullikeagazelle:

knives-and-pipes:

upgraders:

most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person 

image there’s a tool for that

I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?

OMG GET IT
IM SO HUNGRY
I COULD
EAT
A HORSE
JFC

1 hour ago via thehomosexuals © upgraders 333,667 notes

fancysomedisneymagic:

Disney brunettes

WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

image

BUT WAIT

THIS:

image

IS:

image

SOME:

image

OF THE BRILLIANT:

image

STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

image

sassking-trevor:

cassbones:

lesbe-nerdy:

chanellecassidy:

saber-chan:

My parents aren’t home

You know what that means

*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*

this is too accurate 

*parents close the door*, *emerges slowly from room like an easily startled deer*

*Parents come home* *scurries back to room like frightened squirrel*

Y’all think this is a joke but it’s 100% accurate

macintush:

"It’s pronounced like jif"

Yeah well I don’t gif a fuck

1 hour ago via pizza 296,075 notes
2 hours ago via dutchster © gifak-net 994,519 notes

the-potter-tardis:

wearing-sammy-to-the-prom:

princeharrehs:

princeharrehs:

omfg i just ordered pizza and as i was about to hang up i said love you out of habit and the guy said it back and after a whole minute of dead silence he just tells me that he hopes that i’m not expecting a discount on the pizza just cause we confessed our undying love for each other! oMFG!

guys! he sent me a note on one of the napkins and i just

image

I ship it

I ship it hard

taggedrne:

taggedrne:

what can be smooth but also rough ;)))))

endoplasmic reticulum

follow for more cell facts

2 hours ago via dutchster © taggedrne 85,375 notes

burgerkid:

me trying to do stuff

image

2 hours ago via pizza © burgerkid 74,264 notes
2 hours ago via dutchster © iraffiruse 27,298 notes