I WAS TAKING A SELFIE AND WAS GONNA MAKE A TEXT POST SAYING HI I’M PETER PAN BUT MY GRANDMA SAW ME AND I’VE NEVER BEEN SO TERRIFIED AND THIS HAPPENED
Jake that’s a pot…
You’re a pot.
i talk a lot of shit for someone who can’t choose rude dialogue options in games because i’m scared of hurting a characters feelings
IF YOU HAD ROOM WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN IT AND THE WALLS CEILING AND FLOOR WERE MADE OF MIRROR WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE IN THE MIRRORS
Holy shit I asked my dad who’s a physics teacher and he just looked at me, looked at the table, looked at me, tried not to smile, looked angry, and started to look up where you can buy big mirrors.
this is an actual room of mirrors.
as you can see, it leads to glitches in the matrix
doing eyeliner is literally like trying to draw a straight line using Paint
Hold down the shift key
oh yes your right let me just hold down the fucking shift key on my eyeball
Being rude to service staff is #1 indicator that someone is garbage
Video: Nick Offerman Recites Some Profound Shower Thoughts [gifs via]